I am messed up again.
I am not sure what to do about it.
See, one morning I am alone painting. I love this. And I can't wait to light the fuse.
The next day, I don't want to paint at all. I start fussing around with my large-scale sculpture idea. I'm worried about it. It looks like hell. The plan sucks. And for sure I won't have enough gunpowder.
Maybe if I keep this secret it's okay if I fail. Maybe it's an illusion. There is no pressure then. No worries at all. At least none until the giant concrete cubes get dropped off.
"Shhhhhhhhhhh", don't tell Renee.
That evening, I get obsessed with some new black and white photo images I've done. I need to do more.
I don't think about it much. Or, I think about it too much. My mind is a mess.
I read some poetic quenettes to calm down.
Trump makes me nervous though.
I am happiest when I'm pursuing a new challenge. A new skill. I keep trying to push beyond the things I have done before.
And then I come back. The Puppies I painted made me happy. People want more.
I not sure what people expect from me. Be nice? Is that good enough?
Maybe I need to take a break in order to refocus.
I have heard people do that.
I've never really done that.
Does it work?
Why don't I stop? I see too much inspiration and there is so much to do.
The Parkland students. They are not taking a break. Neither is the NRA. And this is a war we need to win.
We can do the impossible.
Renee and I are going to Chicago for a few days to see our granddaughter.
Her smile makes me optimistic. So does Renee's.
I believe a few days with the best girls ever will clear my head up!
Artist Stick Vega studied mathematics and economics, earning a B.S. in economics from UW-Madison and an MBA from Edgewood College. He owned and was CEO of online apparel retailers WinterSilks and Venus Sportswear. However, upon selling the companies more than a decade ago he headed straight to his studio - The Blast Factory in Madison, WI - to create explosive, modern art with gunpowder and high-speed fuse. Stick's current work includes paintings, drawings, fusographs (exploded photographs) and writing. Please follow Stick on Facebook and/or Twitter.