I was at the Waypoint Public House with two trusted advisers working on plans to boost the Wisconsin economy. Wisconsin's economy and job progress under Walker has sucked. He will tell you otherwise, but the numbers don't lie. He does.
We hit on an idea that might work for us. Let's start our own currency. The Currency Of Wisconsin. Known to all of us from this point forward as the COW!
We will create a new digital currency operating like the bitcoin. The servers and staff for the currency will be placed in Pittsville, Wood County, which is the geographic center of Wisconsin. That seems fair and like a cool thing to do. We also bring some high-tech financial jobs to the center part of the State.
The COW and its operating location creates some great new slang. When you are broke you can say, "Bummer, I'm PITTSVILLE..." When you are cash flush, you can say, "HOLY COW! I'm loaded!"
Like China, we can keep our currency devalued to the dollar. This will boost our economy to unheard of levels. But, there will be some winners and losers.
1. Beer exports will soar. We will also loosen our export laws. Our beer is the best in the world. Now it will be more affordable everywhere!
2. The Cheese making business grows like crazy. We are World Champion cheese producers. Now we crush California and Europe on price, too.
3. Our insurance companies and health industry boom. People flock here for care. As we know have the best care for less. And related, people all over the country will take advantage our low business, auto, and home insurance rates. Companies like American Family will explode with demand.
4. Our tourism industry blasts off! We have the coolest State in the world to visit. Now out-of-state folks can do for less.
5. All of our manufacturing, paper, electronics, and plastics industries really take off. Manufacturing will be bigger and better than ever.
1. Sports fans lose in the this plan. The Packers, Brewers, and Bucks all leave as their players and owners will not want to be paid less than market prices. See, for all their home games the players will be paid in COW and those are not worth as much outside Wisconsin.
2. The cost of cars and gas will rise. Perhaps a large automaker will crank up Kenosha auto plant again. With the COW devalued, we should be able to convince a car maker to locate here. A side benefit might be that we move to electric cars faster than other states. This will help keep our environment pure.
3. Clothes are going to cost more. Cotton sweaters and pullovers were our number one import in Wisconsin in 2016. Maybe Lands End can open a plant here to make some cool affordable apparel for us.
4. Your travel expenses to anywhere outside the State will be higher. Sorry, not much we can do about this.
5. Costs at restaurants not using local produce and products will go up. That means McDonalds is going to cost more. Good news though, we might get some health benefits from the COW as folks will eat less of expensive fast food.
Put it this way, anything you buy outside of Wisconsin will cost more. So nearly everything you buy at Walmart and Amazon will cost more. You will need to find good Wisconsin alternatives. And, this bums me out. I love bananas. We cannot grow them here. They are going to cost more. I guess I will switch to cranberries.
I believe in sum that the COW will be a winner for Wisconsin. The economy and jobs are going to boom. Buying local will cost less than going out of state. And, I cannot wait to bet my brother two COW that the Los Angeles Packers will beat the Giants opening weekend!
Stick Vega is the American Gunpowder Artist, former CEO, and author of LESS KILLING. Stick currently lives and creates explosive pop art at The Blast Factory in Madison, Wisconsin. Not limited to one medium, he works in gunpowder drawings and paintings, photography, digital art and writing. Please follow Stick on Facebook and/or Twitter.